Feng Shui & Dating: Mr. 85% (Jan 2010)

My dear friend and inspiring Wellness Coach, Dianne (www.peaklifewellness.com) really enjoyed my last blog on Feng Shui & Dating, and wrote me a note saying, “I hope that this is a series…with a happy ending, of course!!”  A series!?  While a series actually pays better and often times has better story lines, I’d rather my dating experience be like a sitcom that ended with my happily-ever-after in thirty minutes!    

Although I have been feeling done with the dating scene where men in the online world don’t look like their picture in person and where you wonder if your co-worker actually despises you when she sets you up with her second cousin, I have come to realize that my Mr. Perfect for Me will not materialize by twitching my nose like Samantha Stevens.  So, I will take Dianne up on her suggestion (challenge?) and will continue to get out there, share my dating experiences and how feng shui is inspiring me in this adventure.   Maybe I’ll even bewitch a handsome frog one day soon!

To start, I have the relationship corner of my home (seriously) boosted with a pink crystal, two candles, a red duvet cover, matching nightstands and two lamps to balance the masculine and feminine, not to mention each cure is charged and activated with powerful intentions calling in My Man with the qualities I admire.  Whew! 

After I set the last cure, everything started to happen!  EVERYTHING I need to learn (or remember) about truly being a whole person without a man, complete in every way, powerful and okay with my power, beautiful and the ability to feel, know and own it, and actually feel worthy of a great love, is smacking me right in the face. 

I often ask clients when setting feng shui cures, “are you ready for this?  Are you really ready to change?”  Sometimes the manifestation that follows a feng shui cure, doesn’t always look like peaches and cream and puppies with sweet breath or long mountain hikes with a gorgeous man who has you transfixed about his amazing adventure volunteering in Tibet, slipping in sweet compliments and warm smiles letting you know he’s so happy to be with you!  

More than likely, the journey through and toward change can be really uncomfortable and I’m not excused just because I’m the Feng Shui Consultant.  When we set powerful intentions like calling in a great love, a best friend, honest communication and adventurous fun, compatibility with enough differences to keep it interesting, intimacy and sensuality, inspiration and being inspired… well, when you claim all THAT for yourself, the Universe might say, like I often say to my clients, “um… are you sure you’re ready for all that?” 

Perhaps the Universe would continue to say, “Let’s practice first with some of those old wounds of unworthiness, feeling unloved from mom and dad, and lets see if you really believe that an amazing man could truly love YOU?” 

“Oh that Universe!” she exclaims shaking her fists into the sky!

The Universe could go on to say, “Or maybe you’re okay with 85%?”  The gauntlet was tossed casually into the ring and the Universe sat back to see what I would do.

Then HE came into my life.  He was nice, cute … hmmm… our life vision didn’t quite match, BUT he was kind, charming, and … uh oh, our aspirations for an expanded life were different, BUT we had similar Spiritual beliefs, he was available and boy-oh-boy he was instantly in love with me!  PERFECT!  … oh wait … while I envision a better life every day, he is still living in survival mode.  But he LOVES me!!  Isn’t that enough?  I can get just a teeny tiny bit smaller to fit into his life, can’t I?  That’s not so bad, huh?  85% is pretty good… right? 

I can’t even begin to tell you how difficult it was to break up with Mr. 85% when there wasn’t actually anything wrong, other than an incompatibility on how we live our lives.  But I did it, because the truth is I deserve 100%, and I’ll wait for it.  I ended the relationship with a heavy heart hoping that at some point we could be friends.  

And while being uber brave and telling him in person, not over the phone, in a text or on a Post-It, I do believe I have told the Universe that I really am worthy of a great love!  Nobody should settle for 85%.  So if you’re like me, waiting for Mr. 100% to come along, be brave, raise the bar, set those standards and stick to em!  Believe that you are worth it and he will show up.  Maybe even sooner than we think!

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